I was at the State Fair one day, and I decided to visit the livestock section. And I saw this farmer there and his pig with only three legs. This was really weird, so I asked him, "Excuse me, why does your pig only have three legs?"

And the farmer said, "Well, this pig here's name is Snort, and lemme tell you a story about him. One day, I was out on my tractor when something went wrong and the tractor accidentally got turned over. I was going to be crushed and would have died, 'cept Snort here ran over and dragged me out. He saved my life."

And I said, "WOW! That's amazing! But why does he only have three legs?"

And the farmer said, "Well, lemme tell you a story. My wife was in the kitchen cooking dinner and she was chopping vegetables. All of a sudden, she just chopped her finger right off, and she screamed and screamed but no one could here her. So Snort ran in and dialed 911. He saved her life."

And I said, "WOW! That's amazing! But why does he only have three legs?"

And the farmer said, "Well, lemme tell you a story. My son was fishing in the pond when all of a sudden, he fell right in. And somehow, his foot got trapped in a reed in the pond. He would've drowned to death if Snort hadn't ran outside, untangled him, dragged him out from the pond, and applied snort-to-mouth resuscitation. He saved his life."

And I said, "WOW! That's amazing! But why does he only have three legs?" And the farmer said, "Well, lemme tell you a story. My daughter was getting water from the well. All of a sudden, she fell right in! And she screamed and screamed, but no one could hear her! She would've died, 'cept Snort here ran outside and rescued her. He saved her life."

And I said, "WOW! That's amazing! But why does he only have three legs?!"

And the farmer said, "Well, a pig that special you can't eat all at once."