Capitalism - He who dies with the most toys, wins.

Hari Krishna - He who plays with the most toys, wins.

Judaism - He who buys toys at the lowest price, wins.

Catholicism - He who denies himself the most toys, wins.

Anglican - They were our toys first.

Greek Orthodox - No, they were OURS first.

Branch Davidians - He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.

Atheism - There is no toy maker.

Polytheism - There are many toy makers.

Evolutionism - The toys made themselves.

Church of Christ, Scientist - We are the toys.

Communism - Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to the opposite of heaven if we catch you selling yours.

Baha'i - All toys are just fine with us.

Amish - Toys with batteries are surely a sin.

Taoism - The doll is as important as the dump truck.

Mormonism - Every boy may have as many toys as he wants.

Voodoo - Let me borrow that doll for a second...

Hedonism - Hang the rule book! Let's play!

7th Day Adventist - He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.

Church of Christ - He whose toys make music, loses.

Baptist - Once played always played.

Jehovah's Witnesses - He who "places" the most toys door-to-door, wins.

Pentecostalism - He whose toys can talk, wins.

Existentialism - Toys are a figment of your imagination.

Confucianism - Once a toy is dipped in water, it is no longer dry.

Non-denominationalism - We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play.