United States Air Force Creed

I, (insert name), swear to sign four years of my useless life away to the United States Air Force because I couldn't hack it in the Army and because the Marines frighten me. I swear to sit behind a desk and take all the credit for the work done by others more dedicated than myself who take their job seriously. I also swear not to do any form of real exercise but promise to defend our bike riding test as valid and a worthwhile form of exercise.

I swear to defend the Constitution of the United States even though I believe myself above that. I promise to walk around calling everyone by their first name because I know I'm not really in the military, and I find it amusing to annoy all other branches. I will live a better quality of life than all those around me and will at times be sure to let them know of it.

After completion of my << snicker >> Basic Training, I will be a trained donut eating, lazy boy sitting, civilian wearing blue clothes, a chair-born ranger.

I will believe I am superior to all others and will make a constant effort to clean the knife before stabbing the next person in the back with it. I will do no work (unless someone is watching me and I will look good), annoy those around me, and go home early daily. I consent to not ever getting promoted and understand that all those who I made fun of will someday out rank me

So help me God.